Antagonism: One man's quest to bring it back

I am an antagonist. I know that because I am told so constantly, most recently by a man with whom I was fighting in a parking lot.
"You are quite the antagonist", he suggested.

"And you were clearly put on this earth to give my fists something to do", I replied.

Let's be clear about this: Antagonism is a lost art, dead in fact, if one is to recall the golden years of antagonism, 1982-1985. During these days of glory it was one bone of contention after another, spurred by the arrival of hair-band rock and cheap wine. People would fight over parking spots, doctor appointments and the front of the communion line. Even Ronald Reagan was an antagonist, highlighted by his famous line towards Gorbachev: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall or I'll be there to do it myself". What wall? Who cares! Just tear it down.

The Webster Dictionary defines antagonist as: one that contends with or opposes another; I personally think somebody needs to set those dictionary folks straight. An antagonist is one who wants to get their way and does so by sheer force of will. My will is greater than yours. Look at me, and soon you'll be cowering in the corner of your shower, with hot water washing over you for hours in the hopes that the coward will wash off. It won't.