Sunday, February 22, 2009

China agrees to fund U.S. stimulus in exchange for LeBron


China has agreed to buy short-term treasuries in order to help fund the 800 billion dollar stimulus package in exchange for LeBron James, according to published reports. The hoops crazed Chinese made their request after lengthy negotiations, during which the US attempted several lesser packages, including one that would involve a third country and could have sent Shaquille O'Neal to Istanbul. The Chinese, however, were firm in their request and demanded that only the burgeoning superstar would suffice. It is rumored that the Chinese intend to demand that LeBron adheres to a strict schedule of basketball and "making many little Asian LeBron's" in order to better the athleticism of the Chinese national program for years to come.

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