Alright, so you're sitting on the next big idea, but you don't quite know how to attract the right people. If we've learned anything from Balloon Boy and his father, Richard Heene, it's that pretending to expose your children to extreme, life threatening situations is a sure-fire way to secure a Network presence in your front yard. Here are some other ideas, and remember, if you have children, you're already on your way to stardom!
- Alligator Boy Simply purchase a large, adult male alligator and force feed him a mannequin that's roughly the size of your son. Feign despair, call the authorities, hide the real boy in a makeshift bunker, and sit back and watch the offers come flying in.
- Cement Mixer Girl Got a daughter and a driveway in need of repair? Let's merge the two concepts, and rest assured-you are just a series of frantic phone calls away from a one-on-one with Wolf Blitzer!
- Mineshaft/Well Boy This is a tried and true, good old fashioned gut wrencher, and the appeal is in the simplicity: just find an abandoned mineshaft or well, hide your child in a secure location (like a car trunk or lockable crate), and start screaming!
- High-Speed-Chase Boy This one can get dangerous, but danger+baby=ratings! The larger the vehicle the better; a school bus is ideal. Hire a midget, dress him in your little boys' clothes, and send him careening the wrong way down the interstate!
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