Local inventor wins 1st prize at golf invitational

Mike Mead, inventor of the Clam Wedge and the Mental Hat, has been awarded the trophy at the annual Dick Elliott Invitational. Mead, who burst onto the scene with his Clam Wedge, a golf club guaranteed to save a stroke on any ball played off a bed of clams, won the award due to his adherence to the tenets of the Invitational, namely Integrity, Commitment and Action. Mead is also the founder of the Dick Elliott Invitational, a golf trip held annually to celebrate political lawn signage. Mead was not available for comment, and a call to the DEI executive offices resulted in a message that simply said "Please press 1 to order the Clam Wedge, please press 2 if you want to hear me counting the seconds to the next DEI in real time."

However, a statement on Mead's Facebook page said that "I am enjoying my time with the trophy, and trying to relax after an exhausting few weeks. I really appreciate my fans and all they've done to get me to this point, but right now I just want to be alone with my family and this amazing trophy."