Congress grills eight bank CEOs over use of bailout funds

The CEOs of most of the major banks were handed a terrible fate on Wednesday, as they were unceremoniously marinated, seasoned and grilled on a Whole Hog Country Smoker, moments after committee head Barney Frank said he would "take great delight in suckling the meat off your bones on behalf of the investment public."

The mass grilling was shocking turnabout, as the CEOs were initially expected to be the subject of harsh criticism at worst. However, many suspected that more was happening when the CEOs had to spend the morning session sitting in giant vats of A-1 Sauce. When the afternoon session reconvened the CEOs were made to walk through a giant sifter that doused them with a mix of salt, black pepper, oregano and thyme. Each CEO was grilled for about 25 minutes per side before being served to an audience of congressional aides and staffers.