Gentleman from Wisconsin can't seem to accept Ben Bernanke's beard for what it is: perfect

Ben Bernanke's beard, a complicated financial instrument unto itself, was the topic of a spirited back-and-forth between the FED Chairman and Mr. Ryan, the gentleman from Wisconsin. As the chairman made his semi-annual address before the House, he was peppered with questions on fiscal matters until Mr. Ryan changed the topic to facial hair. "How can a man so much on his plate

find the time to keep such a perfect beard?"

Bernanke responded by blushing and stroking his indomitable chin-mane, before quipping, "It's a gift".

The ranking committee member seemed unsatisfied, posing the follow up, "This is no joke, Mr. Bernanke. How do you explain a flawed financial system in the hands of a man with a perfect beard? The American public is demanding answers! Are you spending all your time grooming your face when you should be fixing this problem?"

Bernanke remained calm, but added authoritatively "The style of beard I wear is called the Chuck Norris Level III Imperial. It takes remarkably little maintenance. " The chairman went on to suggest that his "face forest" is an escape from the rigors of his difficult work schedule.