The economy has taken center stage over the past six months, leaving Geraldo Rivera with little to talk about. Because his specialty in front line reporting on real life disasters, such as wars and hurricanes, has little relevance in today's tough economic climate, the mustached mega-star has tried with little success to use terms such as "ferocious" and "dastardly" in forum discussions on the economy, but has sounded out of place. The breaking point came on a recent airing of Hannity, during which host Sean Hannity posed the question, "Do you disagree that Obama and the devil have never been seen together?" Geraldo, wearing a bullet proof jacket even though the taping was in studio, responded by saying, "Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants".
FOX now has placed Geraldo on 24 hour hurricane watch, with his sole responsibility being constant moderation of the earths geological situation. "We are hoping for a natural disaster. We'll take some tectonic plate shifting at this point", offered one FOX executive. Geraldo, to his credit, has used all the right adjectives when reporting from the front lines of America's toughest situations. He has taken gunfire in war zones from Bosnia ("direful", "noxious") to Iraq ("prickly", "woebegone"), and been swept off his feet by hurricanes close enough to threaten the integrity of his mustache. He once said of Hurricane Katrina, "there is a macabre offishness about this sweltering, grouchy town, hulking largely in its' murky shadows".
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