A high level staffer close to Nancy Pelosi has come forth with shocking allegations, detailing how the Speaker of the House drinks mostly blood, and eats from cadavers while working in her office. The Speaker declined comment, but the staffer was not backing off his story as of yesterday. "She is a ghoul, literally. She preys on human flesh. She hisses at you if you walk by her, and if you get too close she's going to take a bite. She will sometimes hide behind pillars, waiting well into the night for some unsuspecting aide to wander past. When she pounces, it's not pretty. At least it's usually over quickly."
The staffer's name is being withheld at this point, as investigators try to get close enough to discuss the matter with Pelosi without being eaten.
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