FOX News has announced that it is upgrading Geraldo Rivera's famed mustache to a Category 4, in light of its recent exposure to Hurricane Gustav. The Army Corps of Engineers has sent a team to work on the mustache, in the hopes that they can pin some sort of pattern to its utter ferocity. The mustache, which was once rumored to have single-handedly redirected Hurricane Katrina in 2005, will probably be downgraded later this week when the storm has passed, and Geraldo is placed back in dry storage.
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